Chemo Starts

This week has been a whirlwind of events.
We flew out to Utah on Saturday (8 days ago).  On Monday, Bucky had an appointment with the cancer specialist.  And wow, did we look weird in that waiting room.  Maybe it would have been a little less weird if I wasn't 36 weeks pregnant.  No.  We still would have stuck out.  Everyone was 3 times older than me.

Anyways, after that appointment they told us to go to the hospital so Bucky could be admitted that day.  We went to the hospital, they drew all his blood, okay, not all of it, but it sure looked like it.  And then they started running some tests.

And we waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.  In fact, that kind of seems to be a big part of this week.  But it was good, because while we waited, they were studying his specific leukemia cells, determining different characteristics of them so they would know which course of action would be best to take.  I always thought leukemia was leukemia-but this week has taught me that, yes, I know even less than what I previously thought I knew.  Which I already knew was not that much.


So, by Tuesday, they knew enough about the leukemia to know what they wanted to do with Bucky.  And Wednesday, he started his chemotherapy.

With his specific type of leukemia (ALL, which is the one most common in children-we always knew Bucky was just a big child, right?), they have the patient do 4-5 weeks of chemotherapy, mixed with a myriad of other drugs and procedures (steroids and spinal taps, namely).  And the goal of these first 4 weeks is to put the leukemia into remission.  Meaning no trace amounts of cancer.

After that is accomplished, he moves on to the next step which is one month of out patient chemo.  Sorry, did I forget to mention that the first step is in patient?  Well it is.  So the second step is out patient-and sorry, I don't have my notes in front of me, but I guess this is to make sure the leukemia is REALLY gone.  Apparently, even the best machines cannot detect all of the leukemia, so they do this to make sure the next step works.

Bone Marrow transplant.  I know, it makes my fingers all weak, just typing it.  But the doctor that explained it made it sound really anti-climatic.  No, it is nothing like getting Adamantium fused to your bones like Wolverine in X-Men.  Heaven help the person who goes through a procedure like that.  Basically, they draw your blood, separate the stem cells, and give you the rest back.  And give Bucky the healthy stem cells.

So that is what we have learned this week, in a nut shell.

Oh here's some figures for you:

A normal/healthy immune system has 4500-9000 white blood cells.  9000, is pretty upper though, it might be a little lower. If you're fighting a cold, it might go up to 10,000.  Maybe 11,000 but that's pushing it.

In Alabama, his WBC count was: 183,000.  Yeah holy smokes right?  I thought he was pretty much going to die on the airplane.  Monday, because of the pills they had given him, it was 82,000.  And as of yesterday morning, it was 4500.

And all of his blast cells are gone.  Basically, cells begin as blasts and then form into neutrophils or lymphocytes.  The leukemia cells are lymphoblasts-pretty much immature cells that are a detriment to society.  They don't function at all and they crowd out the good citizens.  So, this is very good news.

Thank you for all of your prayers and love.  We know that it has been your added faith that has carried us through this week.  We love you.  We pray for you too and are so grateful to be able to see the hand of the Lord through all of this.

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My Better Half

I believe everyone that knows Bucky and I well would agree that he really is my better half.

I always get comments on how good my husband treats me.

And it's true.

I.

AM.

SPOILED.

And I always have been.  From my father to my three brothers.  To Bucky and my two sons.  The boys in my life have always spoiled me.

When Bucky and I got married, he made dinner for at least the first nine months.  I honestly can't remember making anything worth eating.

I never changed a diaper until our firstborn was at least 5 days old.

I never got out of bed in the middle of the night to get the baby until our third child was born and Bucky was in Afghanistan and therefore could not bring her to me.  (Actually, I believe she just slept in his spot.)

Bucky washes the dishes.

EVERY.

NIGHT.

I know, right?  Everyone I have ever told is always so shocked to hear how much my husband does.  (Or maybe how little I do?)

In fact when women get in little circles and complain about their husbands I feel like an outcast.  I have nothing to say.

Bucky's biggest fault was cleaning the bathroom when we needed to be somewhere.

And I got mad at him.

I know, seriously?

You think I would have been grateful to have a clean bathroom.

That is my better half.

That's who he is.

And 7 years ago today, I was flying out to Georgia, to stay with my then future brother and sister-in-law and their family (who hardly knew me) to see Bucky graduate from basic training, right before he entered WOC school.

And it was there that we decided that we should be together for eternity.

Even if it meant I had to leave Utah and move to Alabama.

It's funny how things tend to come full circle.

Bucky starts chemo on Tuesday in Utah.  Which means we'll be leaving Alabama.

And in a few weeks, I imagine he'll have about just as much hair as he did 7 years ago.

It's the sweet love that you give to me

That makes me believe we can make it through anything

'Cause when it all comes down

And I'm feeling like I'll never last

I just lean on you 'cause Bucky

You're my better half

5 Reasons Leukemia has been a blessing in Disguise

1. I have never been closer in my marriage, more forgiving of faults, and more loving. TJ and I are more patient with our children and we have an increased testimony that families are eternal.
2. Prior to this diagnosis, my prayers seemed rote, without real meaning, and more of a duty than a privilege. Since I found out about the Leukemia, I have been able to draw so much strength from my Heavenly Father, and prayer and scripture study have become something I really cherish.
3. I have seen more good in the world than ever before. From strangers smiling and saying hello, nurses and doctors, and health care workers who so selflessly serve, and family, long time friends and new acquaintances who have been so kind, loving, and willing to help.
4. Heavenly Father's plan for our lives and salvation has become so much clearer, I can see that He is the one in charge, not me, and I have faith that whatever happens, it will work out for the best.
5. I have been able to reconnect with so many friends and family members who have touched my life in the past, and now they are touching my life for good again. I have been so blessed to know so many great people from all walks of life. The strength I draw from you all is immeasurable. I feel like Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life." I am so humbled to hear that myself and my family are in your prayers, you are all in mine as well.

-Bucky

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Thanks for the Support!

The outpouring of love and support has been amazing since I was diagnosed. I am truly humbled by all your prayers and comments. I didn't realize how many friends I had until now. Your thoughts and prayers are so appreciated. I know that God answers our prayers, I will beat this, and my family will be provided for. When this is all done and over with I have no doubt that we will be in a better situation than we ever could have realized. Thanks again for all your love, prayers, and support.

-Bucky

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The Beginning

Words seem so inadequate for the way I'm feeling.

Scared
Grateful
Confused
Tired
Helpless
Alone

I hate writing this when I have so little information.  But yesterday ranks number one on the worst day of my life.

 October 9, 2012-the day we found out Bucky has leukemia.

Leukemia.

As in people die from this.

As in my own grandfather died from this 25 years ago.

And if that is what the Lord has in store for us, I am so grateful...
that I met and married Bucky when I was just 18.  It has been worth every second.
that we started our little family as soon as we were married.  And we had those babies close together.
that Bucky has lots of siblings willing to donate their bone marrow.
that I have the gospel of Jesus Christ, it has brought so much peace to my mind.

But the Lord made the blind to see, the lame to walk.  Surely if it is His will, He can heal Bucky.

And so, we are leaving it in the Lord's merciful hands.

"There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met.  I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord humbly, 'Give me this mountain,' give me these challenges." -Spencer W. Kimball

And here we are, today, Bucky had a bone marrow biopsy, starting to climb our mountain.

The doctor has told us that it will be about a year of treatment before he is back to normal.  Bucky has always seemed superhuman, so I won't be surprised if it is less. :)

Bucky has a prescription he needs me to fill, so he said, "Usually it takes them a little bit, so you just drop it off first, and then shop."
"I know.  I've filled prescriptions before," I told him.
"Oh, I hadn't."

Seriously?!  Superhuman

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